she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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