ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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