so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
