oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
