After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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