Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
