I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize