There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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