wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
