Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
