i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
