Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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