HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
