party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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