Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
