Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
