I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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