Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
