I bet he comes in French.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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