Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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