I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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