I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
