How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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