And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
