Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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