at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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