I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
