Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am naked and annoyed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
