Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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