u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
