The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
