You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
