Where are you?
In a non slutty way
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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