David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
