just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
