i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
