Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
