im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
