Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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