First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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