The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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