went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
