Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
nutella sex= disaster
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Boobs speak an international language.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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