Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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