just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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