You made me cry and you don't even care
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
