We won't sleep together?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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