But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
