Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
