Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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